The Laggards, Back by Popular Demand
September 27, 2008 
4 Comments
T: Laggards think biking is too unsafe to be a viable transit option, or is just for people who can’t afford cars. They also believe bikes should stay on the sidewalk because that is where they belong. Some might vocalize their belief that light rail is a liberal conspiracy to erode American independence and socialize transportation.
F: Laggards take pleasure in glorifying their addiction to McDonalds by saying “you only live once”. They think buying organic is a ploy to cheat do-gooders out of their hard earned money. Most Laggards haven’t eaten produce in months and simply don’t care to. They might aspire to a dinner at the Golden Corral on N. Division for a special occasion, and have effectively replaced water with pop.
M: Some Laggards are wary of movies in general because of their potentially corrupting influence. Others are addicted to video games to an anti-social degree. Laggards will dogmatically stick to one religious or commercial radio station of their choosing. Newsprint is too overwhelming, but they may have a few Reader’s Digests tucked in between US Weekly and People in the magazine rack next to their La-Z-Boy by the TV.
R: Laggards like to drink. A lot. Buying scratch tickets from the gas station and gambling habitually at Coeur d’Alene Casino is their idea of a good time. Laggards are more likely to enjoy aggressive demolition sports like monster truck racing, boxing, dirt biking, and WWF-style wrestling. Frequenting the Spokane Raceway Park and the Greyhound track would be typical weekend activities.
C: Volunteering happens only if it is assigned as a punitive measure. The three most likely civic events Laggards can be found at are Pig Out in the Park the fireworks show on the 4th of July and the Lilac Festival Torchlight Parade. Many of these people don’t vote and think they’re proving something by not doing so.
- Read original post The 5 Types here.
Point of Clarification: It should be obvious that not everyone who engages in the described attitudes and activities is necessarily a Laggard. Nor does the Spovangelist condemn these behaviors. This description is merely meant to outline a personality archetype in order to better explore the mechanics of the social and cultural landscape in Spokane.
About the Author
What no mention of the mullet?
Wait, Stella?
Really?
A very stimulating series. So, dear Spovangelist, and this is pretty abstract, but what would you suggest local media members do to provide a better outreach for those in Spokane with limited resources to move up a bracket?